Engineering managers (EMs) often suffer from the Atlas complex. 

We convince ourselves a project’s success and failure, the team, and even the company to some extent, depends on us. Like the Titan, Atlas, we feel this incredible weight resting squarely on our shoulders. Everything feels monumental, and we are sure if we don’t deliver, everything will collapse. This is especially true when you first start in the role.  

But here’s the truth: we’re not Atlas. 

We’re not supposed to do it all on our own. The weight of every task and decision is too much for one person to bear. Instead, we get caught up in the cycle of stress, pressure, and exhaustion to the point we forget what really matters. 

But you know what? The world keeps spinning even if you:

  • Miss a deadline
  • Don’t attend a meeting
  • Or don’t complete a task

Obviously, you don’t want to make this a habit, but unlike Atlas, you don’t have to (nor should you) bear this eternal weight – it’s just not sustainable. 

You can always: 

  • Reschedule meetings
  • Catch up on work
  • And help your team adapt

The same isn’t true for the potential long-term consequences to your health and career.  

Unfortunately, I know this firsthand.

I was a stellar student at the Atlas School Of Doing Everything

I, too, used to think everything rested on my shoulders. I kind of enjoyed this thought. There was a certain sort of satisfaction that came with being a workaholic and pushing yourself far beyond your limits.

And falling into this way of thinking is easy as an EM. After all, it’s a very demanding job! With responsibilities such as:  

But I cannot say this enough – the idea that high stress and suffering are signs you’re just doing your job (or doing a good job) is simply not true. These are only signs of burnout (and worse).

Unfortunately, I learned this Atlas lesson the hard way at the expense of my health. I was very sick for many years and ended up in hospital. 

I don’t want the same to happen to you.

Here’s what works for me.

6 pm on Friday is not your finish line

Work is not a sprint. You don’t win anything for crossing the finish line at the end of the week, and there isn’t even one to cross. But so many people view productivity and time management as methods to reach this imaginary line faster.

You might even feel the same.

How often have you had the thought that if you just complete X, Y, and Z, everything else will become easier to do? Then, you get frustrated and disappointed when the work keeps coming, and you have to keep sprinting.

For better or worse, the reality of work is it’s an endless marathon. The goal is to put together a series of sustainable, nuanced strategies that keep you moving forward for as long as you care to. 

But this has a learning curve. New or not, no one gets this balance right the first time. 

For instance, you might know you need to say no to some requests but struggle to do so without offending anyone. Or you might practice not being stressed but still have plenty of moments where you are.

The point is to accept neither you nor the work will ever be complete, but you can both be moving forward.

But a limit is a finish line

This is probably the most crucial strategy you’ll learn. Don’t push yourself beyond your limits, especially when you know you’ve reached them. 

For example, the other day, I knew I was reaching mine: 

  • I was exhausted
  • Finding everything difficult
  • And it was hard for me to focus or concentrate

It was clear I was less effective than normal. Of course, I still had a million important things to do, but I made the decision to leave work, take some time to rest, and catch up on sleep.  

I could have pushed myself further and gotten a few more items ticked off my to-do list, but in doing so, I would have:

  • Further depleted my energy stores
  • Made time-wasting mistakes
  • Ended up getting sick
  • And burnt out

It’s not a difficult choice, really, but it doesn’t always seem easy at the time. But it has gotten easier for me with practice. I keep reminding myself I would be less productive for a longer period of time or stop being productive altogether!

You may feel differently. But for me, the better choice has proven time and again that it’s to take the time to: 

  • Correct my energy
  • Deal with the consequences of not doing something
  • And get back to work fresh the next day 

And guess what? Nothing disastrous happened because I stopped working that one evening. Amazing!

Extending it requires embracing the invisible

I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating: unlike an engineer, your deliverables as an EM are invisible. Unfortunately, it’s very easy for someone to:

  • Take on the role
  • Not understand this
  • And start panicking 

Even long-time EMs can forget this and fall back into bad habits sometimes. 

The real problem is this:

  • You’ll feel very busy (because you very much are)
  • But think you’re not doing enough (even though you also are)
  • And wonder why you haven’t got anything to show for all your efforts

So, what do you do? You take on extra (and more visible) work you shouldn’t! Not all at first, but little by little – you might even start micromanaging. 

But you can’t. You have to keep reminding yourself that you are meeting your deliverables, such as:

  • Aligning your team’s output with company technical goals
  • Coaching and improving team members
  • Meeting deadlines
  • Dealing with inefficiencies
  • Resolving conflicts
  • And fostering a good team environment

The key is remembering your metrics of success no longer depend on yourself but on your team. The more successful you make them, the more successful you are.

So, delegate, advocate, mediate, and support your team, and they’ll take care of you.

And preventing the phantom draw

You know the idea that energy can be consumed and wasted even if devices are not in use? Well, this happens to us humans as well. It’s those little things you’re not really conscious of, but they are still there, ticking away in the background, slowly sapping your energy. 

Death by a thousand cuts

Prioritizing and only completing so many tasks each day is key to surviving (and thriving) as an EM. But every great solution also produces a not-so-great problem. 

In this case, using up your time and energy each day to complete all those “big-ticket” items prevents you from tackling the “small-ticket” ones. Over time, those start to add up. Before you know it, even just thinking about the sheer number of them stresses you out.

So, keep prioritizing the most important tasks, but build in some time each day for a few of the less important ones, too. The added bonus is you’ll get more quick-and-easy wins each day, which will give you an energy boost and the momentum needed to take on the not-so-quick-and-easy challenges.

Burial by a million meetings

The phantom draw of meetings is twofold. 

First, meetings themselves are exhausting. 

This is especially true if you are new to them and even more so if you are an introvert. Even if you are used to them, the sheer amount of meetings you have to attend is physically and mentally fatiguing. 

Underestimate this at your own peril. I prefer to do what I need to restore myself before and after. For you, this might look like:

  • Going for a walk
  • Spending some time alone
  • Or switching up tasks for a while

Second, there’s the guilt you feel about spending your time in meetings. 

I’m sure you have either said it yourself or heard someone else say, “I didn’t get anything done because I was in meetings all day!” We don’t tend to value meetings as doing “real” work. So, you start to feel guilty and think you should do extra work to make up for that seemingly wasted or unproductive time.

But meetings are an important part of your job. That doesn’t mean they can’t be optimized or that all meetings are a good use of time, but many are. And while they may not feel the same as finishing up a report, you’re still performing your duties as an EM. 

Also, avoid productive procrastination 

The reverse of ignoring the small tasks is avoiding the big ones. Stress and energy drain also come from these things you don’t want to do. So, instead, you procrastinate! But not by binge-watching Netflix or some such thing – I’m talking about productive procrastination.

For example, say you have to develop and communicate a personal development plan (PDP) for an underperforming engineer. But you don’t want to work on it because you’re already swamped, and you know the talk will be difficult. 

Conveniently, another of your engineers is stuck on a task, so you eagerly spend hours helping them instead. Then, something else comes up, then one more thing, and so on. 

You: 

  • Keep postponing the PDP
  • Which keeps stressing you out
  • So you keep distracting yourself by doing something else

I’m 100% guilty of this. 

The key to overcoming productive procrastination is breaking down the big task into manageable parts. Take the PDP, for example, you can approach this by:

  • Reviewing the engineer's work
  • Identifying areas of improvement
  • Setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound) goals
  • Developing and writing the plan
  • And then having the conversation with the engineer

By decomposing a task you’ve been avoiding into manageable parts, you can start taking the small steps toward completing it. Trust me, you’ll feel relief when you finally start tackling that dreaded task.  

The short version: lead not like a titan, but like the amazing human you are

There’s no getting away from the fact that engineering management is a demanding job, and it can feel exhausting and overwhelming, especially when starting out. But for sustained success, it’s important to think of the role as a marathon, not a sprint. 

There’s no magical technique that will get all your work done for you. But there are some strategies to maintain your productivity while looking after your well-being. The most important of these is to be aware of your energy levels and recognize the early signs of burnout. Other actionable steps include:

  • Know your limits: and don’t go beyond them
  • Don’t try to do everything: delegate to your team when appropriate
  • Beware of phantom draw: prepare for meetings and don’t let small tasks pile up
  • Face stressors head-on: avoid procrastination
  • Take time to recharge: make this a consistent priority

The next time you feel like Atlas, remember the work isn’t as monumental as it feels – the world will keep spinning if you take time for yourself.

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Originally published on Medium.com

Content in this blog post by Alex Ponomarev is licensed under CC BY 4.0.