Introverted Engineering Managers Know Their Engineers Best

A company is only as strong as it is diverse – engineers, designers, marketers, managers, and others, all are necessary.

But diversity also comes with drawbacks.

As you know, engineers tend to have a particular personality type at work. They’re often perfectionists and seek to build something cool instead of abiding by constraints like time or resources.

Most importantly, they are often introverted.

Others won’t necessarily think like engineers. Or like introverts, for that matter. Which can contribute to misunderstanding, frustration, and perhaps even conflict.

As an introverted engineering manager (EM), you were an introverted engineer once. So, you have a special insight into their needs, thoughts, and behavior.

With this knowledge, you’re able to communicate their needs to the team, advocate for their interests, and find solutions to tensions between them and their extroverted colleagues as needed. This manifests in many ways.

You understand their frustrations with other managers

Introverts need more space to do their best work, which you well know. So, they seek ways to avoid distractions, as you also well know.

For example, they might:

Not reply to messages and notifications right away
Avoid contact with other team members, including managers
Ask for exemptions from attending meetings

Maybe you even did (or still do) the same.

Now, consider those same actions from a project manager’s (PM’s) point of view. They have to keep the project on track, so they have to know what’s going on with each team member.

So, imagine that’s your job, but an engineer frequently doesn’t respond right away to requests for work updates. You can likely see how frustrating this would be.

But to the engineer, they’re just trying to complete their tasks to the best of their abilities. To them, the PM is interrupting that.

All of this creates a cycle where the PM reaches out more and more to maintain communication while the engineer withdraws more and more to maintain focus. And because of it, everyone’s frustration grows.

Engineers start viewing PMs and their requests as obstacles to progress, and PMs view engineers as hindering the same. Their misunderstandings of each other divide them unnecessarily.

Luckily, you’re able to see both sides of the issue. Which positions you well to intervene should this escalate into tension, arguments, and other disruptions.

An engineer’s focus is coding. For many in that role, topics like business, sales, and marketing sound like an alien language. To them, they’re less important than working with code. In fact, some engineers think coding is by far the most important task in the company.

Maybe you even felt (or still feel) the same.

And the more introverted an engineer is, the less likely they are to want to talk about these other tasks. Which means they might not realize or accept how important they actually are.

This leads to blind spots in their understanding of how the company works. And it can lead them to ignore requests from others, thinking they’re less important than what they’re working on.

As a current or future introverted EM, you know (or will know) these blind spots well. Your experience will help you “speak” the same language as your engineers to explain why these other tasks are important.

For me, that means anchoring the explanations to things that are important to them. Like how sales and marketing produce the revenue that lets them do the work they love. Or that shaping a feature into its beautiful, final form requires coordinating with others.

Also, I don’t do this in a way that will overwhelm them. Not chasing them down with these explanations, for example. I know how I process information, so I trust them to do it on their own time as well.

You treat them like artists

Engineering is a creative task. As an engineer (former or current), you come up with new solutions all the time and rarely do two things in a row the same way.

But with creativity comes conflict.

Engineers are like artists – they don’t always follow the rules. They push things in fiercely individual directions, especially as they gain more experience. And they don’t want anyone else interfering with their vision.

Perhaps you even felt this yourself. If so, what happened when someone pushed you to do your work in an overly structured way?

If you were like other introverted engineers, this likely caused you to rebel and retreat more inside yourself.

And that’s where you, as an introverted EM, can help. You know it’s fruitless to push people in directions they don’t want to go. Even if they do comply, it will create resentment and problems later.

But you need balance.

If you set no boundaries at all, an engineer can work on a single project for months and never make a single deadline. And if you chase after them and put them in boxes, you’ll stifle their ability to do what they do best. More than that, they become miserable and at risk of quitting.

So, develop a flexible structure that works for everyone.

You appreciate that they value solitude

It used to be that team members worked in a single office. Everyone had to arrive at a specific time and work the same amount of hours as everyone else.

We’ve come a long way from this setup. Some companies still require in-person work times, but many offer more flexible arrangements or hire engineers who live in different locations altogether.

Most introverted engineers love this. Not having to go into the office lets them do their tasks without being interrupted by water-cooler conversations or colleagues checking in during a walk through the room.

This contrasts with the desires of most managers. While they appreciate flexibility for themselves, they enjoy being able to check in on engineers when they want. Not being able to do so can be stressful as they may feel like they have less control. This may lead them to reach out to engineers in disruptive ways.

If you’re an introverted EM like me, this flexibility doesn’t phase you. You don’t care if they take breaks to relax or walk the dogs. You don’t care even if they watch Netflix during the workday.

You care about results, timeliness, and quality. You don’t need to know where they are or how they achieve their goals, so long as they do it. Introverted engineers value and appreciate this about your approach.

You know they need a way to return to independence after underdelivering

When I start working with an engineer, I begin with a high level of trust in them. After all, I’m usually the one who hired them, so I have reason to.

But that trust shrinks the moment work comes late or is low-quality. Since I can’t trust the engineer to deliver, I need to check in more regularly and ask for progress reports.

And, of course, they don’t like being subjected to this increased scrutiny. But there is a fix – you communicate what steps they need to take to patch things up and get back to that position of trust and independence. Doing this gives them more control in correcting the situation but doesn’t lower expectations.

What’s more, they learn about you – that you’re not attacking them but finding a way for everyone to move forward.

A final note on introverts

Obviously, not all introverts are like me. Even within a group, people are different. You, for instance, may have none of the above characteristics.

But my goal is to show that introverts do have strengths and advantages as EMs. Maybe not all of them, but many – this is what I’ve experienced. And I know many of us struggle with the idea of becoming any kind of manager, let alone an EM, so I want to show it’s not only possible but even good.

Hopefully, it’s also clear I have nothing but respect for extroverts. They bring a lot to the work we do, whether they’re managers or ICs. In addition, having the diversity different groups of people bring makes us all better in the end, and I’m glad to be a part of that.

The short version: you’re the champion they need

Not everyone is going to understand introverted engineers. But as an introverted EM, you do. This knowledge helps you work with the introverts on your team and draw on their unique strengths.

You understand that engineers:

Have a need for independence that can create tension with managers, especially PMs
Possess blind spots that need to be taken into account
Don’t like being told what to do
Thrive in flexible work conditions
Need a way to redeem themselves when they underdeliver

These insights give you an edge in the workplace over extroverted managers who won’t necessarily understand how best to interact with the introverts on your team. This positions you to draw the best out of your engineers while helping them meet workplace expectations.

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Originally published on Medium.com

Content in this blog post by Alex Ponomarev is licensed under CC BY 4.0.

Introverted Engineering Managers Know Their Engineers Best – Period