When I started as an engineering manager (EM), I thought I had everything figured out.
I came in full of ideas, convinced I’d be the one to improve everything – faster than anyone else. Like most new managers, I thought I’d easily:
- Make my team happy
- Solve all conflicts
- And avoid technical debt
I couldn’t have been more wrong!
The reality of being an EM was more complex – and overwhelming – than I anticipated. Like many who step into management, I had my reasons for making the leap. For some, it’s the salary increases, or the idea of having more control, or thinking they can do better than previous managers.
While these are all valid reasons, becoming an EM isn’t about what you think you can do – it’s about what you actually do. Here’s where the real work starts:
- Managing both external and internal expectations
- Taking on more responsibility
- Dealing with people daily
- Having days (and sometimes weeks) where all you do is attend meetings
- Moderating between upper management and your team
- Making difficult decisions, such as letting people go
- And dealing with emotions (both yours and your team’s)
The transition isn’t easy. But for me, I knew I wanted it, and I persevered. I have no doubt it’s the right job for me, and I’m happy to be in this field. However, the hectic nature of engineering management isn’t for everyone, especially if you like a quiet life.
Can you say goodbye to peace and quiet?
Imagine an engineer who transitioned to EM. He was the go-to person on his team for technical advice. So, his manager suggested he consider an EM role.
The engineer was flattered that his boss recognized his efforts and recommended him. However, he wasn’t sure if management was something he’d really like to pursue. But, because of his commitment to the team, he agreed.
Six months into management, the new EM was burning out. While he was great at solving technical tasks, he really disliked:
- Dealing with conflicts
- Having back-to-back meetings
- And giving honest feedback to his team
He missed deep technical work and his peace and quiet, so he talked to his mentor about it. After a long conversation, he decided it best to return to engineering.
This is a story I hear all too often. The role isn’t as simple as people expect. Whether you’re right for management largely depends on whether you want to become a manager. Despite all the hard work, it’s a really rewarding role if you’re the right fit.
What mindset do you need?
Imagine two engineers. One prefers clear instructions and to work independently. The other is a good specialist, but also:
- Takes the lead in meetings
- Suggests new ways of doing and improving processes
- Shares knowledge
- And volunteers for different projects
Even though both are good engineers, the second will likely thrive more in management due to their proactive nature.
To excel in management, I believe you need the inner desire to fix the world around you. Not everyone possesses this drive, and that’s okay. But, those passionate about contributing and enhancing their environments usually make amazing managers.
While this innate drive is critical to success as a leader, some other skills are also required.
What sets you apart?
As an engineer, you’ll likely have the right technical skills. But, you’ll need to learn a new set of skills – soft skills. These can be some of the hardest to gain, especially in tech.
For the last few decades, soft skills haven’t been high on the list of requirements for engineers. Their sole job was to write good code. And many engineers still think like this today.
However, the landscape is changing. We see now that AI can also write code. Of course, it needs thorough prompting and many edits afterward.
With AI, over time, there will be less demand for traditional engineers and managers because many tasks will become automated. That’s where having the right soft skills becomes your main advantage, whether you transition to management or want to be an engineer in demand.
You probably don’t have most of the skills yet, and that’s okay
Imagine you decided to move to Spain. Should you already know the language before moving there? Probably. It’d be helpful to speak Spanish and know how to get around.
But, if you really want to move there and don’t speak the language yet, you’ll likely be fine because you’ll:
- Use a translator at first
- Look up places where people speak other languages
- And learn Spanish eventually
The same is true for engineers transitioning to management. You can develop the skills as you go. Most people do – I did. The most important thing is to be open to learning and continuous improvement.
Just like learning a new language, you can understand the grammar rules and know the theory, but the real magic happens when you start speaking it.
What you’ll need to learn
When it comes to soft skills, unfortunately, you can’t just do an online course and say: “Now I’m an empathic person!” But the good news is you can learn them. Practice really does make perfect in this case.
Here are some that will increase your value and make you an effective manager – whether you’re new to the role or looking to level up.
1 - Communication
As an EM, clear communication skills are your biggest asset. They may be difficult at first, especially if you are an introvert, but they do get easier with time.
Here are some areas you can start working on right away:
- Adapt: Each person has their own communication style. Perhaps some engineers immediately get what you mean, while others need more actionable instructions from you. As a manager, your job is to pitch yourself to different audiences (both technical and business) so everyone understands your message.
- React: Don’t wait for people to bring up issues if you notice them first. Not everyone feels confident sharing what they’re going through with their manager.
- Communication channels: If some team members don’t respond well to async instructions, schedule more face-to-face meetings to ensure they know what you expect of them.
- Feedback: When you assign tasks, ask for feedback and questions to ensure everyone understands their assignments.
2 - Problem-solving
If one thing is certain in engineering management, it's that you’ll have to solve countless problems! From technical issues to conflict, it’s your responsibility to make everything work out.
Keep these points in mind when you’re dealing with problems:
- Timely: have conversations as soon as possible before a simple mistake or misunderstanding becomes a more significant problem
- Calm: try to stay cool-headed when things get heated, this may mean stepping away or taking a break
- Measured: take your time to make the best decisions for the team and company, rarely is a rushed decision a good one
- Transparent: create a work environment where open communication is encouraged and people aren’t afraid to bring up issues
3 - Time and task management
Even experienced engineering managers struggle to delegate tasks. They often get so involved in every process that they lose sight of the bigger picture.
As an EM, it's easy to want to take on engineering tasks – especially if they seem relatively straightforward – because it's our comfort zone, and learning to delegate is hard. But, this approach only leads to burnout instead of getting things done.
Knowing how to:
- Plan your time
- Prioritize
- And delegate
Gives you more time to focus on more essential management tasks and maintain energy levels.
4 - Leadership
Sometimes, people confuse leadership with being bossy. But good leaders don't control and micromanage their engineers.
Instead, they:
- Listen to their team
- Help them solve problems
- And guide them
Doing so builds trust and stronger teams.
5 - Adaptability and flexibility
As an EM, you’ll always be facing new:
- Technologies
- Methods
- People
- Processes
- And ways of doing things
Each of these disrupts the status quo. You have to learn to be flexible to ride these waves, particularly when managing different types of people. You can start by:
- Listening to your team
- Being realistic rather than idealistic
- Embracing different working styles
- Focusing on results, not methods
- And acknowledging the inherent uncertainty and changeability of your role
Doing so will ensure you can handle dynamic situations and remain relevant.
6 - Decision-making
If you think decision-making is simple, imagine deciding whether or not to let someone go from the team.
It's one of the more complex skills to learn and is closely related to your ability to stay objective and manage emotions. Whether it's technical or personnel, unfortunately, your decisions aren't always going to make you popular.
Imagine your team is working on an app, and the stakeholders decide that the app needs a new feature. Half of your team pushes for a simple and fast product update, while others want a more complex option.
Both sides have their arguments and data to back them up, but you have to make this decision in the end. What you choose may not be popular, but you have to stay firm and make a call.
Sometimes, the answer is clear, but other times, you have to trust your judgment.
7 - Empathy
Empathy is understanding when someone needs reassurance that they’re doing well or a nudge when they want to take on more responsibility but are afraid.
An empathetic manager:
- Listens to their team
- Adapts their management style
- Encourages honesty and open communication
- Picks up on emotional cues
- Helps their team grow and improve
- And shows genuine care for people
A fair, honest, and empathetic boss is much more respected and appreciated than someone who always tries to keep the upper hand and bosses everyone around.
The short version: Your eagerness matters more than your skills
Whether you’re right for engineering management mainly depends on whether you want to become a manager. The transition from an engineer to EM might seem like a great next step in your career, but ask yourself if it’s really what you want.
Being an EM is often wholly different from what you expect. And it quickly teaches you that you don’t know everything! But, an openness to learning and a genuine desire to improve your surroundings will help you accept the harder parts of the role.
Developing soft skills, such as:
- Communication
- Problem-solving
- Time and task management
- Leadership
- Adaptability
- Decision-making
- And empathy
Will help you become an amazing leader. Becoming proficient in these skills won’t happen overnight, so continue to learn, accept feedback, and keep practicing. As long as you have the determination to become a manager, I believe you’ll thrive in the role.
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Originally published on Medium.com
Content in this blog post by Alex Ponomarev is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
