Communication is a huge part of any manager’s job. You have weekly one-on-ones with team members, alignment meetings with your superiors, and coordinating ones with peers.
But how much do you listen when engaging with them? Maybe a lot, maybe a little, but not every manager does. Also, some managers listen but aren’t strategic in how, leading to uneven results.
For managers who don’t, the following problems can arise:
- Disputes without understanding the other side
- Making decisions without taking others’ needs into account
- Quieter voices going unheard, and their expertise untapped
Obviously, this leads to further problems, including those managers setting the tone for team members to not listen to each other, either.
But when you do listen as a manager, and when you do it in the right ways, the effects on your team are amazing. The good news is that the following ways are easy, and you can start putting them into practice immediately.
1. Listen to ensure alignment
I’ll often do a couple things when I’m in an important conversation. One of those is providing a quick summary of what I’ve heard when there’s a pause. Not like a parrot, but recapping key information to ensure understanding.
If I’ve not understood correctly, I’ll ask clarifying questions. This helps me make sure I’ve connected properly with the other person.
What I like about this approach is that it isn’t listening in order to argue. It’s not about making a point or trying to convince someone. It’s listening to build alignment with the other person.
Leaning into this skill as a manager shows your team members you care enough to properly understand them. Since building relationships is a key component of your work, it’s essential to get this right.
2. Listen to create space for quieter voices
I’m an introvert. So, if you asked me to picture my perfect workday, my immediate answer would be a day without meetings.
They’re draining and often inefficient. One reason for this is some people can take up all the space.
I track our meetings with a tool called Grain. In case you don’t know, it produces a transcript showing who spoke for how long. In some meetings, one person can take up over 50% of the time, doing the team no favors.
So, as a manager, part of my job is making space for everyone. This includes people who feel less comfortable interrupting or speaking up. More people means more input and a more productive conversation with diverse perspectives.
An easy way to do this is to use the previous strategy:
- Listen for the speaker’s key points
- Gracefully interrupt them
- Summarize those points
- Then, turn them into a question you ask someone else, preferably a quieter person
Taking these steps as an introverted manager requires a lot of energy, so if you are one like me, I recommend preparing beforehand. Manage your levels throughout the day, consider who you’ll bring into the conversation, and how and when you’ll interrupt.
3. Listen to avoid rushing to conclusions
Imagine you’re in a meeting where different team members express conflicting opinions about a project’s direction. One engineer gets heated, and you have to step in to resolve the issue.
One way to approach this situation is criticizing the engineer. You can call them out and then work to include other voices in the conversation like I described above.
But another way is resisting the urge to resolve everything immediately. In other words, don’t jump to conclusions.
The engineer may be emotional, but they may also be trying to make an important point. To see if this is the case, ask questions to understand why their reaction is so strong and what they’re trying to say.
For example, maybe they’re a senior backend engineer who doesn’t have good communication skills. But maybe they can see things that aren’t obvious to others and will cause huge problems later on.
I don’t like rushing into a situation like that — I’d rather get more information first. This means I won’t react as quickly as may be needed in a crisis situation, but I’m also better able to sort through complex situations requiring a more considerate approach.
You can do the same.
4. Listen to understand feedback
In my experience, most people listen to respond. Conversations become less of an exchange and more of a space to prove one’s own point or push for an agenda. Especially when there’s an argument.
We have to resist this as managers because otherwise we’re less likely to catch valuable feedback in difficult conversations.
Unfortunately, a lot of the time, team members aren’t able to properly explain what’s bothering them, especially when they’re frustrated. But if you listen to understand, then you’re more likely to piece together what they’re trying to say.
When successful, this helps you address your blind spots and makes for a stronger team. But if you miss out, important information is lost and can cause problems later.
It’s also helpful to acknowledge and thank your team members for their feedback. This makes them feel more comfortable coming to you and shows them you’re on their side.
5. Listen to create safe spaces
The above skills aren’t just about creating better communication — they’re also about paying attention to people’s well-being. And putting this into practice creates a space where people know that it’s okay to be vulnerable, make mistakes, and be honest at work. We want to acknowledge that we’re people and not just workers.
Real listening ultimately builds trust. This happens when asking people questions about themselves and really listening to them. Especially when you make comments showing you were paying attention.
I read a study once in which people reported liking conversation partners more when they listened and asked follow-up questions. When the partners talked more about themselves, even if it was interesting, they still didn’t feel as good as with people who listened.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share about yourself. Trust goes both ways. If you’re comfortable, be open with your team members about your life. Share things with them so they see your human side.
As managers, we have to find a balance: we aren’t our team members’ peers. But being friendly and open lets your team know that they can do the same. Especially if you’re a good listener.
The short version: the power of listening in the workplace
No one likes a manager who speaks more than they listen. It sets a bad example for the team and creates problems at work.
Instead, you can use the following easy ways to listen to build a better team and culture:
- Listen to ensure alignment
- Listen to create space for everyone during meetings and conversations
- Listen to avoid rushing to conclusions
- Listen and thank team members for helpful feedback
- Listen to create a safe space for your team members
This leads to increased trust and well-being on your team, and your team members will feel more invested in the work. As the manager, your focus is not only on completing tasks but also on the people you work with. Building and leaning into your listening skills helps show your team where your priorities lie.
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Originally published on Medium.com